While I think that American parenting has become more private over the last generation or two, I have found lately that I tend to be my best parenting self when I’m doing so in public! 

Yesterday morning, during breakfast at home, my daughter spilled her cup of water (some might say she did so with a mischievous glint in her eye). I immediately got blustery, gruff and pushed her chair roughly away from the table so that she couldn’t paint with the spilled water. I said some stern words and tapped the back of her hand to make my point.

Yesterday afternoon, during lunch at a cafe, my daughter spilled her cup of water. I immediately righted the cup and said, “Uh oh.” There were no stern words. There was no quick push away from the table. I simply said that she was too fast for me and then I proceeded to clean the spill. She was much wetter than she’d been at home and I didn’t have anything for her to change into, so she stayed wet for the next hour or so. All-in-all, the “damage” was worse while we were out and yet, I found myself to be more patient, understanding and even amused when we were in full view of other people.

What is that about?

Am I putting on a show? “Look at me! So good at keeping my cool!!!!!!”

Am I too cognizant of what others will think of me as they watch (or more likely ignore) my reactions to my daughter’s behavior?

Shouldn’t I just be more patient and understanding when no one is around?

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt here and say that both my daughter and I behave better when we’re in public. There are more eyes upon us but also, there are more things for us to look at and focus on too. We’re not just staring at each other’s faces all day long. We can change scenery and our interactions with others by being out and about. And when I’m out with her, I usually am more focused on her too! I’m not doing 5 or 6 things like I might be attempting at home (like trying not to let little fingers touch the computer keyboard!). I’m eating my own lunch and spending time with my kid. She receives more positive attention from me, which tends to turn her into her best self (barring extenuating circumstances of course). Crazy!

So, shall I eat, drink and live in the public eye? My true calling is to be an overblown celebrity so that I can be the best parent possible?!

It certainly is nice to retreat home and not be concerned what any other person’s thoughts or opinions are of “the job I’m doing,” but I do appreciate the ambient atmosphere of a people-filled restaurant for helping me tap into my reservoirs of patience and humor. Thanks to all those people who don’t really care how or what I’m saying to my kid. You help me be a little better at this on a daily basis.