The second trimester has begun. And with it comes a loosened tongue.

As somebody who has been pregnant (twice now), let me tell you why I’m not a huge fan of the very normal “wait 3 months until you tell anybody” shtick we’ve got going here in the U.S.

#1 Trying to either hide a) the fact that you always feel like shit or b) the reason why you always feel like shit is a real bummer. Yes folks should be conscious of pregnant women when they’re about ready to pop, but we need sympathy and understanding even when we don’t look pregnant. In fact, I think that’s when we need it the most…when we’re not supposed to let anyone know that we need it. We should just smile through the taste of bile at the backs of our throats, yes? Blech.

I want folks to know that there’s a reason that I’m grumpy. There’s a reason that I’ve got to nap instead of talk to you. There’s a reason that I don’t want to go out to eat with you. It’s not you. It’s food!

#2 Even if you do feel like shit, it’s for a happy reason! Instead of hiding our lights under bushels, wouldn’t it be nice to let the good news out? Instead of as an apology for our anti-social behavior for the past 3 months? It’s something to be glad about and having to hide it makes it feel clandestine. Yes, it’s an open admission to having had sex, but it’s also going to be another member of your family! Glad tidings!

#3 Miscarriages. Nothing to be glib about. But if a miscarriage takes place, it is not as a result of a failing on the part of the woman. I can’t imagine having to keep a pregnancy a secret and then having to keep the loss of that pregnancy a secret as well. By hiding miscarriages in the shadows, we don’t acknowledge that anywhere from 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. It makes it harder for folks struggling with this sadness to find other folks who understand what they’re going through. I have only known about others’ miscarriages well after the fact- after they had time to deal with their feelings themselves. And I’m not saying that they should have been more transparent or that I would have been a great help in easing their suffering, but who knows what support I and others could have offered had we known when it happened.

If I miscarry, I will be sad. Very sad. And I don’t want to have to hide those feelings under that bushel either. By making it so taboo to talk about, we cut ourselves off from being able to express how we really feel.

#4 Women have been hushed up enough about our bodies. We needn’t have men in political arenas deciding what should and should not be talked about, what is and is not “shameful” and who has control over our reproductive organs and our mouths. Yes, maybe it’s a stretch to say that telling people you’re pregnant in the first trimester is a way to stand up to “the man.” But maybe it’s not. If we all walked around freely talking about our periods, our vaginas, our uteri (yes that is the plural of uterus- I looked it up) and our unborn babies, maybe we could dominate the conversation instead of some white haired men.

What do you think? Shall we take back the taboo?