We have started frequenting an off the leash dog park in our neighborhood since the weather has gotten warmer. I still don’t have a dog and am not shopping for one at the park. My daughter and I simply go to have some room to run around and maybe meet some four-legged friends. As I watched her stand amidst the frolicking (and “free-range”) pups the other day, I wondered how I let her off her leash on a regular day.

I thought of a few ways that I practice giving her greater freedom and will continue to try and think of more as she grows.

#1 Trusting her not to go into the street on her own.

Yes, my daughter is only 18 months old, but for her, that’s old enough to know that the street is a place she can only walk while holding someone’s hand. This trust is repaid 9 out of 10 times, so I continue to have to be vigilant (obviously). But by remaining quiet just a moment beyond what I find comfortable as she approaches the curb, I am often delighted to see her stop, turn back and hold out her hand to me. If I yelped when I actually wanted to (which is like 15 feet before the street), she’d never have proven to me just how capable she is of remembering the seriousness of streets. By letting her off leash in this way, I have found an ally in keeping her safe- Her!

#2 Walking on her own.

This one goes along with #1, but it doesn’t just have to mean the sidewalk. I *try* to let her walk in the grocery store, around the art museum, up and down stairs on her own as much as I can. Sometimes it drives me crazy and she just gets scooped up so that I can keep a handle on her, but often times I find how curious, sociable and capable she is without me holding her hand.

When I am the one leading the way, I am setting the agenda and proclaiming that I’m in charge- that I’m the only one who can be trusted to navigate both of our bodies. I find that when my daughter is led, she gets worse at walking. She gives over all of her responsibility to care for herself and expects me not to let her trip or hit her head or lead her astray. She is no longer paying attention to doing that herself. As soon as I drop her hand and let her go, she takes all of that responsibility back. It’s amazing how quick the transition occurs.

#3 Sitting in her chair without restraint.

We have a highchair without a tray or element that holds one in while sitting in it. It simply has some carseat-esque straps that hold kids in place. While those were handy when she was a wee one who might fall out of this precarious perch, she is now perfectly able to sit on her own, so we’ve opted to use the straps very limitedly. Just as with walking, when she was strapped in, she would slouch to one side and rely on the straps to keep her upright. She was giving them the job of controlling her body. But now, she has to scoot herself back up if she slouches down too far. She has to save herself from falling or being unable to reach her food. This one is as close to getting ‘off leash’ as you can get.

So I’ll continue to let her play with the dogs and learn from them and get knocked down by them and get licked by them. And I’ll continue to exercise my trust muscle and let her navigate her small world more and more on her own. It’s just as much an exercise for me as it is for her.