How young is too young?

How will I know if I should have already started “disciplining” my child?

My kid is little but she already seems to ignore me when I tell her not to do something.

I’d like my children to live discipline-free for as long as possible.

Invoking the word Discipline! can make parents (and people) excited, angry, scared and confused. Some picture a paddle. Others picture stern faces and yelling. While others think of self-discipline first (like training for a marathon). Since we’re often divided on the meaning of “discipline” and it’s role in the lives of our kids, it’s even more confusing to figure out when (and how) it should be introduced.

GOOD NEWS!

If you are a parent, you are already practicing discipline. Having any kind of a schedule or routine is discipline! And I guarantee you already have a few non-negotiable rules in your child’s life. For instance, they must be strapped into their car seat while in the car, even if they cry and yell! If they’re still in diapers, then they must wear them! They must eat some kind of food! They must go to bed sometime (if not always at the same time each day)! They may not eat the cat food! They may not chew on your shoe! They may not stick forks into wall sockets! They may not leave the house without you!

See! There are already so many ‘rules’ in place that setting boundaries and enacting “disciplinary procedures” is already going on at your house! Woo-hoo!

That means that you’re already classifying  your kid’s behaviors as “ok” and “not ok”.

The question then becomes, when should we start expecting a little more from them?

When might a fit of tears become something to ignore rather than something to fix?

My kiddo is going to turn 1 in a couple of weeks and I am finding that her new “maturity” and understanding is pushing this question to the front of my mind. She certainly still gets tired and cranky, but she also occasionally turns on the tears just because her current world isn’t to her liking. I can now also tell what her sounds of frustration are. Sometimes those are the sounds that I’m trying to elicit.

So as of right now, I am looking to set up some very simple boundaries for my little one. I’m not going to put her in a time-out for hitting me in the face or explain to her why she can’t dive head first off of the sofa. But I am going to actively discourage from her doing both of those things. I will simply keep her hand from hitting me and move her back from the edge of the couch over and over and over…and over again. After the humor of the situation wears off, I sometimes hear those frustrated tones. A small victory for me!

It’s never too early to think about “discipline.” Our kids are taking small steps towards growing up and we should take steps of our own to set up some boundaries for them on their journey.