How many times in a day might you say ‘no’ to your kids? I think it’s safe to say that they want a lot of things.

They want to poke the dog in the eye. They want to eat sweets until they feel ill. They want to stay up too late. They want to get up too early. They want to do anything besides homework. They want to do what they want to do…not what we ask them to do.

And, as parents, we work to keep these wants in check, hopefully teaching them not to be overtaken by them as they grow older (ala Veruca Salt).  Many parents think that having their wants “frustrated” by us is good for them. Our “no’s” are like vitamins for them. It helps them realize that they can’t have the world, right now.

On the other hand, parents find our wants are frustrated by our kids too.

We want to sleep in. We want some PEACE AND QUIET! We want to be able to poop without interruption. We want to have kids who love and respect each other. We want to have some adult time and freedom.

But we rarely view our kids’ actions as helpful to us in not letting us get too much of what we want. If it’s a good thing for us to teach them not to get what they want all the time, can it be a good thing for them to apply this same pressure to our lives?

Even if  we (parents) have kinds who always mind us and who always play well with others, living with them is still a continuous act of compromise. We work to have our needs met regularly, as well as some of our wants. And we work to meet our kids needs regularly and give them some of what they want.

It’s easy to think of kids as the thing that ended our lives of fun, our availability and our stamina. But we can also look at them as vitamins for us to help us figure out what we really need and rid ourselves of some unnecessary wants- just as we are the frustraters of their wants as well.