You’ve had a long day at work. You come home to your other job: parenting and realize that your day is going to be even longer. All you can think about is quiet, some food, maybe a glass of wine and bed. All you can hear is squabbling and pleading. It’s like your kids can sense your weakened state & they pounce!

“Can I have some candy before dinner?”

“Can I watch an extra show?”

“Can I do my homework after my bath?”

“Can I hit my brother over and over again?”

You can feel your resolve crumbling. Anything to keep them quiet!

“Sure, have a lollipop!”

“A show?! Why not watch a movie?!”

“Homework? Whatever!”

“Hit your brother! I don’t care!”

And voila!, you’ve bought yourself some quiet time. But at what price? Tomorrow, the requests double. The hitting continues and is joined by some scratching too.

This is not to say that anytime you give in, you will immediately feel the consequences. And this is also not to say that you have to fight every fight. But just like that extra bit of dessert or those extra 20 minutes in bed before work, you will pay for this somewhere down the road. Sometimes the quick fix is your worst enemy.

But Katie, sometimes I just don’t have the energy or the time to do anything but the quick fix!

I hear you(!) and to this I say <ahem> that if you put in the hard work up front, things will be easier over time. Like my snazzy, unscientific chart here shows.

I know it doesn’t seem that pleasant to consider (and this is supposed to be the land of pleasant parenting after all), but after a few days of you sticking to your guns, your kids are going to stop asking about candy before dinner! And they may even quit asking to watch more TV than they’re allowed. If you take the path of greater resistance, you just may find that it was the path of least resistance in disguise. It looked very brambly and hilly and daunting, but after a little while of walking, you found that it was flat, wide and downright pleasant!

So before you give in and shake your head at yourself, think what the cost of your decision will be tomorrow. If it seems too high a price to pay, consider taking a different course & paving a new way forward.