In about a month and a half, life is going to change for us in a big way. But also in the smallest of ways. We’re going to become parents. This occasion, for many, is exciting, anxiety-provoking, thrilling and stressful. I’m sure that like the billions who have gone before us, we will be overwhelmed and overjoyed. The one “problem” is that after so many years of dealing with other people’s kids, now I’m going to have my own to deal with.

And since I’m an “expert” at kid-dealing, this almost certainly means that I will be eating my words for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I can picture it now:

Smarty pants bystander: “What’s your kid’s bedtime routine?”

Me: “Um…. I know we’re supposed to have one, but it’s hard to get her to go down around the same time every night. She doesn’t seem to like going to bed without a lot of help from me :/”

Well-meaning friend: “What’s the best way to deal with a child who won’t eat much? Ahem, your child…”

Me: “I once would have said, continue to fight the good fight and introduce them to more foods. After all, what’s for dinner is what’s for dinner. Now I just hope she’ll grow out of it and cut all of her food into the shape of a triceratops. It’s a grueling job, but it’s motivated by love (and the avoidance of conflict).”

Pre-parent Katie: “Katie, did you just give in to that temper tantrum?”

Me: “Shut up old Katie. You just don’t know what it’s like. When she was theoretical, you had it all figured out! But now she’s real!!!!!”

I’m well aware of this impending possibility. Part of me hopes that by admitting it aloud, I’ll magically avoid it and end up scoffing at my self-doubt. What’s better than proving yourself wrong when you’re doubting yourself? I knew I could do it all along!! Take that Katie!

But just in case, I’ve got my knife and fork ready.