I don’t have a dog. In fact, I have never had one. Probably makes me very ill-qualified to compare dogs and kids. And yet, when has that ever stopped me?

We had a dog visit us over the weekend. Her owners are friends of ours and they accompanied her (or she accompanied them?) to our house for some hanging out on Saturday. She is a very sweet dog who didn’t mind if our daughter was a little shrieky or wanted to pet her. She did mind our cat though…and our hardwood floors.

While I’m sure that there are folks out there who would vehemently claim the opposite (that kids are far more challenging than dogs), let me just offer these points to support my thesis.

#1 Bathroom stuff

Someday I will have to worry about house training my kid, but for right now, diapers are the sh*t. Not that I’m the champion of neglectful parenting (well…maybe?), but if for some reason, I couldn’t change my kid’s diaper for like 12 hours (as happens at night), she’d live! And I (most likely) wouldn’t have pee or poop on my floor. Sure she’d be uncomfortable and I’m not saying I recommend it, but it would be ok. If you don’t take your dog out for 12 hours, you’re bound to have a mess on your hands. This means going outside very early, staying up late, coming home from work during lunch to let them out, paying someone to come let take your dog out for a wee. Ahh!

#2 They come with their own neuroses

If you adopt one of the nearly 4 million dogs available through shelters in the U.S., you are most likely getting a dog that has an already formed personality and a past. This is not a bad thing. It just means that, unlike with your kids, you have not been able to help your dog form neuroses that you yourself share with them. We (try to) make our kids in our own image. If we have an irrational fear of the color pink (a real thing!), we can pass that on to our kids (you’re welcome kids). Untrue with dogs. They come with their own baggage that we didn’t help create, so it’s harder for us to understand- plus the obvious language barriers between us.

#3 Most places are not dog friendly

My kid currently flies free on airplanes! Dogs that don’t fit under the seat have to fly in the cargo hold (unsafe!) & you have to pay extra for them. NOT DOG FRIENDLY!

My kid has been to bunches of restaurants and even some bars. They almost always have high chairs, but they have no dog seats. NOT DOG FRIENDLY!

I can change my kid’s diaper in any public restroom (even if I have to put the pad on the floor). I cannot instruct a dog to just poop on the floor of said restroom so that I can pick it up and throw it away. NOT DOG FRIENDLY!

As much as I dislike a kid’s menu, I have very rarely seen a dog menu or known a place that would make something for your dog (except the Square Cafe of course!) NOT DOG FRIENDLY!

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Both kids and dogs can be cuddly and lovable and whirlwind-y and bitey and picky eaters and sweet and soft. But for now, I think having a kid is easier than having a dog. Kudos to those of you who have both!!