Life has regained some equilibrium. We are “settled” into our temporary housing and have places to sit and sleep. For a journey that’s been a little up in the air, these are luxuries. But since I find myself in cold weather, without a car, without a TV and without any of my things around to “keep me busy,” I’ve been relearning how to properly waste time.

There are many folks who, when faced with a dearth of activities or distractions, would create projects and goals for themselves. Well done to all of those people! I find myself occasionally being envious of them but never to the point that I actually become them. When go-getters tell me about their current plans for life, I always find myself feeling tired listening to their ambition.

So I’ve been trying to reacquaint myself with the quiet of everyday life. I suppose some might say that this is one of the better ways to live in the moment. Without anything to work toward (for right now), I am able to just be here instead of projecting myself into the future and trying to live there instead. I am nowhere right now but on my couch (and on my computer).  Well, this is how I’m trying to frame this very slow portion of my life anyway. I’m trying to give myself permission to have very little to show for myself at the end of the day. I’m trying to justify <cough> the time I’m “wasting” by saying that it’s good for me. It’s a good lesson in quieting my mind and body.

I believe everything that I’m saying, I just wouldn’t be saying it if I didn’t find myself with a lot of time to kill. Blergh. Even the way we identify “ill-used” time frames my days as wasteful. No wonder I’m trying to push against that and say that it’s ok not to fill my time with “productivity.”

Alas. I’ll have to use some of my “free” time to allay my feelings of guilt at having free time.

In other, more cheerful news, the TV just arrived. Let the time wasting begin again!!!