Happy New Year all! Forgive my recent dearth of advice and posts. It was a busy end to the old year, but 2013 has dawned and it’s time to get back to business!

I’ll bang my gavel and call this meeting to order! What meeting you ask? The one I just called. I call meetings all the time with kids. They don’t bring their portfolios with them or take notes, but they have to be present for a moment and touch base just as they would in any company meeting. So how do I use this funny tactic? Here goes.

Let’s say that you’re about to pay a visit to the library. You’ve got both of your young kids with you. They don’t have the hang of library etiquette just yet, so having a meeting before you go in is probably a good idea.

Step #1: Either right outside the library or just inside the door if it’s chilly, get down on one knee and have them huddle up around you. Now you’re all on the same eye level and you can indicate to them that everyone is participating in this meeting. It’s not just the grown up barking the orders at the kids.

Step # 2: Make sure everybody is paying attention and then start to either explain or ask about the rules for the library. This is when kids can surprise you. They often know the dos and don’ts before you tell them and are more likely to remember and follow them if they explain them instead of you. This is also the part where kids tend to raise their hands without prompting, which I always find super cute! “Pick me! I know a rule about the library! Use inside voices!”

Step #3: After a few guidelines are presented (be careful not to list too many rules or their heads will be swimming), again ask or explain what the consequences for not following the rules will be. DO NOT let this time be a prediction from you that you know your children will not be able to behave themselves. If you don’t want them to behave themselves, then by all means, predict that they’ll fail at this. Simply state the consequence of leaving the library or having to sit down while their sibling continues to read and look around. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t make an angry face or threaten them with said consequence. Just tell them. It’s their choice.

Step #4: Follow through on consequences and rewards. If they have behaved just as they should, then maybe they can check out an extra book (Zoinks!). If they have run or jumped or yelled or refused to share, then after a warning, a consequence should have been enforced.

Step #5: This one is optional, but if you like, you can always have a meeting on the way out too. Ask them what went well. Ask them what we might still need to practice. Tell them what you saw that you liked.

Meetings help us to be on the same page. They’re a 30 second check-in that lets kids know your expectations while also assuring them that you won’t be nagging them constantly while you’re at the _____________ (fill in the blank). They only have to pay attention to the “boring” stuff of rules for a short time, then they can concentrate on other things without being interrupted by “Stop that!” “Inside voices!” “Shhhhhh!” “Let him have the book!” “Be quiet or we’re leaving!” “Stop embarrassing me!” And the other myriad of things that we can say when we’re starting to feel a little nervous about our kids’ behaviors.

So for now, this meeting is adjourned. Take your gavel out into the world and use it!!