Changing any behaviors, habits or thoughts is a tricky business. Just try to tell yourself not to get mad at your kids or your spouse for the same thing you were mad about yesterday. Talking yourself into thinking or behaving differently takes a lot of practice! We reward kids with praise, stickers, extra incentives, etc. when we see them changing for the better. An M&M for a successful trip to the potty! Extra play time when they’ve been kind and caring with their siblings. A special treat at the store when their behavior has been excellent. So why are we not rewarded for doing something infinitely harder? Changing ourselves.
#1) Try setting small goals for yourself that have a tangible reward at the end. This takes a bit of self control, but it also calls your attention to specific things that you’d like to concentrate on. For instance:
#2) Get your partner, spouse or friend on your side. Tell them what you’re trying to achieve and then allow them to give you encouragement, praise and a pat on the back once you have done it.
#3) Don’t forget to forgive yourself if you don’t manage it today. There’s always tomorrow. Your reward will still be waiting for you.
#4) Reward the small steps along the way. This will help you build confidence in your ability to change & show yourself that you can be successful in moving toward certain goals.
Maybe once you get a few successes under your belt, then you can get a massage or buy yourself a new piece of clothing. Whatever it is that’s going to help you stay on track, use it! Not only will you feel more relaxed after a massage, you’ll also feel more relaxed and confident after averting yelling at your kids. All the while showing them that if they want to see a change in themselves, they can manage it just like you!
Two thumbs up! Practice practice practice!
From the Land of Pleasant Parenting 