We practice at being kind to strangers, our significant others, family members, our friends and our kids. Some days are better than others, but we still generally wake up with the idea that if we’re kind to others, that’s a good way to spend a day. And yet when it comes to being kind to ourselves, we often falter or worse, don’t even consider whether we are being kind to ourselves or not.

I went to yoga this morning and had occasion to laugh at myself a number of times. I wasn’t making fun of myself for not looking like the other kids in class, but I was allowing myself to have my own wonky expression of each pose. I tried to forgive myself for not being able to lift myself up while my legs were swung up over my arms. While yoga and parenting differ in lots of ways (and it is not necessary to practice one while you practice the other), they also share many core values. Patience. Breathing. Forgiveness. Letting go. Relaxing. Having an open heart. Health. Making time for yourself. Being in the moment. Strength. Endurance. The idea that practicing more will help you get “better.”

So the next time you find yourself at the wrong end of a mistake, don’t call yourself stupid! Not even in your head! Besides the fact that you don’t want your kids to hear you disparaging yourself because you would never want them disparaging themselves, it doesn’t help you to hear it said aloud either. Practice saying something positive in your head instead. “I can stay calm in stressful situations.” or “I can forgive myself for my mistakes.” Just like we learn to control our anger and those snap decisions that we make when angry (else we’d all be grabbing kids left and right when we got upset), we can also learn to control our knee jerk reactions to our own foibles.

And just think how your day will go if you’re kind to the person you spend all of your time with: you!