I’ve started volunteering at a local agency here in Baltimore, The Family Tree. I’m currently observing (and mildly participating in) their positive parenting program. It is a 10 week parenting class that deals with topics from the difference between punishment and discipline to the self-esteem of both parents and kids.  This past session was the first of the real meat of the class & I thought it was super.

We talked about a lot of things in those two hours. One of the topics is specifically about parents and their needs, which I haven’t touched on here. It’s very easy to feel yourself focusing on your kids and giving lots of time, energy and attention to them. That’s as it should be, but as many parents know, that shouldn’t preclude giving yourself time, energy and attention as well. But the question, invariably, is how to do that. There’s little time in one’s day or week for anything but a few minutes of quiet, rejuvenation or even exercise.

During the class this week, our needs were broken into 6 groups: creative, social, intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical. Obviously, physical needs tend to be the most basic and if they are not being met, then it’s very difficult to even think of meeting the other needs. But if you have a roof over your head, enough food and an adequate amount of sleep, that means that you have 5 other areas to concern yourself with. So maybe you have trouble finding time for yourself or outlets that allow you to get some of these needs met. Don’t worry just yet. Why not take a minute, when the kids are sleeping or when you’re escaping for a minute to the bathroom, and simply list one or two things in every category that you would enjoy doing to meet your needs. Some activities or interests can even meet more than one. If you like to do yoga, that could meet a spiritual, physical and perhaps even social need if you take a class with other people. Some of these needs can even be met within the family unit. If you like to do art projects or crafting, why not do an activity that your kids could take part in as well? Thinking about your kids’ behaviors and reading blogs like this one may meet an intellectual need. There are plenty of ways to meet these needs. Some of them involve taking some time for yourself, but others can be met with the parenting trick of multi-tasking.

Again, don’t worry if you don’t know when you’ll have time to meet these needs for yourself. Thinking about and naming them is a good first step. You may find that you flex those creative muscles just trying to get your needs met while meeting those of your family. And if you want to do some more research about caring for yourself, take a look at Finding Definitions.

Can you find 5 minutes tomorrow for yourself?