What would you like, a hug or a hi-five?

Which book are we going to read while you sit on the potty? Thomas or Brown Bear?

What would you like to drink with lunch? Water or milk?

Which socks are you going to wear? Red or gray?

The subtext to each of these questions is that:

1. I’m taking my leave and would like a goodbye.

2. It’s time to sit on the potty.

3. It’s time for you to come to the table for lunch.

4. Socks should be on. We’ve got to get going.

But in each case, giving them a choice eases our social interaction. If “it’s time for ____” was the main thing that I said everyday, then everyone would be annoyed with me (including myself). Choices not only give kids a sense of power and control in their little lives, they can also serve as a reminder or prompt of what to do next. And it allows kids to take ownership of their responsibilities. If they get to pick what socks they wear, they just might surprise you and opt to put their socks on by themselves as well.

Plus it’s always a good idea to set up interactions that can be successfully achieved and then praise your kids for achieving them. “You came to the table all by yourself! Great job!”

Giving a choice to a hesitant or unwilling kid isn’t always going to make your interaction without headache, but it can certainly be a place to start. Hmm, decisions, decisions.