How old are kids typically when they are able to start following simple verbal directions?

Asking a two year old to do something or retrieve something for you and seeing their first compliance is like a miracle! All of a sudden your child is a little older, a little wiser and a little more able to disregard your requests. Yes!!

So now, what do you do with a two year old who is able to ignore you or does not follow through on something simple that you’d like him or her to do? They empty the box of puzzle pieces onto the floor. Then they immediately move on to another project. You slip on a puzzle piece as you come in to the room. “Uh oh, puzzle pieces everywhere. Please put them back in the box.” Your child looks up at you, then returns to the new fun they’ve found. What next? Pick them up yourself? Yell? Stand there with your mouth open? Ask again? Demand they be picked up or the child will go to time out? Hmmm…

I have an idea! Help them to do what you’ve asked of them. They might know what you’re asking, but they might not. With young kids who are just getting the hang of listening to directions, they could be “disobeying” or they could just not know what you’re talking about. So in this instance, you can get down on their level and ask again to put the pieces back in the box. Indicate the pieces & the box. Sometimes I even like to break it down and just start with the direction, “Pick up.” With two step directions (i.e. pick them up and put them in the box), little kids can get confused and even overwhelmed. We think it’s simple. They might not.

If this still gets no response, don’t worry. Take one of their hands, lay it on a puzzle piece and see what happens. Nothing? Still don’t worry. Hold their hand and help them pick up a piece with it, then place it in the box. This will probably get the ball rolling since now they have a real sense of what they’ve been asked to do. Aha! Now I get it Dad, you want me to put these things in this thing. Got it!

Your child may start to cry or fuss since they’re being taken away from something else. Just make sure that the task is manageable for them. Maybe have only 3 or 4 pieces for them to take care of, while you do the rest. Then once they have completed their part of the job, you praise the heck out of them. Telling them specifically what you liked about what they did. “You put all of the puzzle pieces IN!” They’ll start to get the idea that a) those weird shapes are called puzzle pieces and that b) this is a way to get positive attention. Kids love a good fuss when parents are making it on their behalf.

So with a little help from you (even if you did most of the clean up), they’ll start to feel some pride in their emerging abilities because you’re showing them that they should be proud of them and that you believe them capable of doing certain things. Help them to do the things that you’d like them to do. They’ll get used to it & pretty soon when it’s time for them to set the table, you’ll just have to ask and they’ll know what to do.