Have you ever met (or been parented by) a mother or father who was very concerned that you or someone else might hurt themselves at every turn of just about every day? Their sharp intake of breath indicating just how worried they are when they see a little one trip and fall. And even sometimes taking over a task that the child is doing because the parent is afraid that a mess will be made or that something might go wrong. I have met a couple of these parents throughout the years. The interesting thing to note is that when “overparenting” is prevalent, kids learn how not to take risks and therefore how not to build self-esteem.

There is a general feeling of worry in older people as younger people grow and become their own generation. Risky behaviors seem to always be on the rise and teenage rebellion is thought of as a given. But what if not teaching our kids how to be risk takers when they’re younger inevitably leads them to take bigger risks when they’re older? Just a thought. If it’s not made clear to you that your parents trust your ability to handle a situation that’s bigger than you are (risk!), then you probably feel a.) untrustworthy, b.) incapable, c.) childish or d.) all of the above. When parents decide to take their own risk by letting go of their children a little bit and trusting them to pick themselves up when they fall, kids learn that they are capable and worthy of that trust! What?!

For many parents, risk is just like any four letter word. They don’t want their children to be saying it, thinking it, doing it. But if they don’t take risks that are appropriate to their age, size and place in life, then when will they start to? When they’re a little older and they feel pretty powerless, leading them to take risks in unsafe ways since they never learned how to take risks in controlled situations. Or will they never learn to take a risk, which can be equally as bad. If you don’t believe that you’ll get the job and are unwilling to take the risk of trying for it, then you’re right. You won’t get the job.

Controlled risk taking builds self-esteem and actually brings about an increase in capability. Yes, your two year old might drop the plate that she’s clearing from the table and make a mess. But that small risk and leeway that you’ve given her is showing her that you think her worthy of completing the task.

So, go on, take part in some risky behavior today. Your kids might thank you tomorrow.